Be Myself

Having been reading The Importance of Living,one of Lin Yu tang's masterpieces, for 4 years, I was always pondering this question:Who am I? After all these years of meditation, I figured out that it is the puzzling question which is almost impossible to answer.But I am pretty sure that the busy self occupied in my daily activities is not quite the real self. I am quite sure I have lost something in the mere pursuit of living.When one group of people watch a person running about looking for something in a field, the wise man sets a puzzle for all the spectators to solve: what has that person lost? Someone thinks it is a watch; another thinks it is a diamond brooch;and others will essay other guesses. After all these guesses have failed, the wiseman who really doesn't know what the person is seeking after tells the company: "I'll tell you. He has lost some breath. " And no one can deny that he is right. So we often forget our trueself in the pursuit of living, like a bird forgetting its own danger in pursuit of a mantis, which again forgets its own danger in pursuit of another prey.
Thus,who am I? I guess, I am me.
In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me. There are people who have some parts like me but no one adds up exactly like me. Therefore, everything that comes out of me is authentically mine because I alone choose it.
I own everything about me- my body, including everything it does; my mind, including all my thoughts and ideas; my eyes, including the images of all they behold; my feelings, whatever they might be -- anger, joy, frustration, love, disappointment, excitement; my mouth and all the words that come out of it -- polite, sweet and rough, correct or incorrect; my voice, loud and soft; all my actions, whether they be to others or myself.
I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears. I own my triumphs and successes, and all my failures and mistakes.
Because I own all of me, when I review later how I looked and sounded, what I said and did, and how I thought and felt, some parts may turn out to be unfitting, and keep that which proved fitting, and invent something new for that which I discarded.
I can see, hear, feel, think, say and do. I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me.
I own me and therefore I can engineer me.